My Pensieve

Randamoozham- Tale of the so called Fat Dumbo

2011-08-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

It was really long since I read a Malayalam Book, so grabbed ‘Randamoozham’ as soon as my eyes landed on it. For the unknown, Randamoozham is a book written by M.T depicting Mahabharatam from Bheeman’s perspective. I am no one to judge which version is the truth, but loved the view from a different angle. Having heard mahabharatham and Ramayanam a zillion times from Apoopan, I thought I knew them well enough. Of course it was about 20 years ago that I used to fall asleep in amoomas bed listening to these epics. Similar to the song 4 u shows that we see around, i could choose which part of the story i wanted to hear and he would narrate it in great detail. Arjunan emerged as the superstar in all those stories and I adored him. The part where prince Utharan goes for war with Duryodanan, but gets scared when he reaches there and Arjunan who was in disguise as Brahanala fights for him and wins the war was my favorite. I would ask apoopan for that story again and again, he would describe it every time patiently with the same enthusiasm. Its been about 10 years since his demise. I miss him.
Yet, I had forgotten many parts of the story and when I read the book it gave me this peculiar pleasure of reviving some faded childhood memories. I had read in one of Amir Khans interview that he thinks Mahabharatam has the potential similar to The LOTR. Im not commenting on that as yours truly is yet to watch LOTR [embarrassed]. But this is one hell of a story. Last week if someone had asked what its about I wouldve told .. there lived some bros and they all wanted the country and they fought for it. Random stuff i remember from the book follows. < Spoiler alert >

Jeernavastrangal - Liked this particular chapter more where Krishnan during the war tells the brothers that human bodies are clothes for the soul and it is just these clothes which get destroyed. The soul remains. It chooses new clothes. Hence death doesnt matter. Krishnan is shown as a normal human being with flaws just like anyone else, and not as Lord Krishna. Nor has the author mentioned anything about Gita. Even though Krishnan gives this valuable advice, his nephews death saddens him. Bheeman realizes that preaching and practicing are different things.

Droupadi swayamvaram – Arjunan wins her. When they bring her home, Kunti [ without coming out of the house] asks them to share what they got. I knew this already. Then comes the twist. The brothers laugh off Kuntis “accidental” inappropriate words. But then yudishtiran doesnt let it go that easily. He claims that its a sin to disobey mother’s words. Realizing Yudishtirans secret desire, Bheemans outraged. Later Kunti confides that she told that on purpose and that it was essential for the brothers to stay united.

Family – Most of them have more than a wife. For Bheeman there is Hidumbi and Balandhara apart from Droupadi. Husbands donot keep track of their wives or kids. Most of their kids come to join them in the war and that is when fathers and sons meet for the first time. Bheeman feels guilty about all this.

Droupadis partiality-The Kalyanasougandikam saga’s quite famous. Bheeman finds the flowers discarded at a lake side after gifts her those [he undergoes quite some trouble to get them]. She loved Arjunan and Arjunan alone. She makes Bheeman promise that he wont let Arjunan face Jarasandhan for the inevitable fight. She comes crying to Bheeman when keechakan misbehaves with her, when her other husbands discard her concerns. Bheeman loves her and anticipates his turn for her, only to hear her let out Arjunans name in her sleep. At the end when all of them leaves for Vanaprastham [or Swargavasam] after a while of travel she collapses. Bheeman tells everyone, but they all leave her behind. Yudistiran replies that she doesnt deserve Swargam as her eyes were always on Arjunan even when she was being his Pattamaharshi for Rajasooyam. She has only Bheeman by her side during her last hours.

Dronacharyar- Another one who was favorably inclined towards Arjunan. He discourages Bheeman from practicing Asthra vidhya even though he was good at it , disagrees to teach Ekalavyan and demands his thumb when he fears Ekalavyan may become a threat to Arjunan. He doesnt allow Karnan to display his abilities for Abhyasaprakadanam as he is Soothaputhran.

Yudishtiran – is shown more as a loser than as The Dharma Raja. He is someone who believes in peace even if someone slaps him. He’s the reason pandavar loses their kingdom, he shamelessly bets even when droupadi is at stake. His brothers obey him throughout. But then finally arjunan blasts him well, thats the part where I started loving Arjunan again :D. Kurukshetra yudham is won mainly with Bheemans power and Arjunans excellence. At the end when only Duryodanan is left, yudishtiran challenges duryodanan to fight with any of the 5 brothers to win back his kingdom. The brothers are left speechless and Krishnan rolls his eyes.

Pitrthvam- Yet another shock.Like Bheeman I also believed that indran is arjunans father, vayudevan bheemans and so on. But at the end of the story there are some shocking revelations regarding the paternity. Yudishtiran confides in Bheeman that Vidurar is his biological father!

Karnan – He is better than Arjunan in archery. But he is denied opportunity at abhyasa prakadanam and at droupadi swayamvaram as he is soothaputhran [turns out that this is true biologically too]. Bheeman when he is about to kill Karnan during the war finds out the truth from his saradhi [I know.. too filmy]. Later on Karnan is killed by Arjunan in a non-Tendulkar way [err..I cant find the proper word..You know the wheel getting stuck on the mud story]

Khadolkachans death – Karnan had got special weapons from Gods and he had reserved it for Arjunan. But hes finally forced to use it against Khadolkachan. When Bheeman is overcome with fatherly grief, Krishnan calls for a celebration as the divyastram has got used up.

Kunthi- Shes quite chalaak, she understands kauravars tactics better than her sons. Shes partial towrds arjunan and even towards yudistiran upto some extent. You get a feeling that she has a heart of stone when you read the part where she tactfully made a tribal mother and 5 sons to stay in arakillam.. so that Duryodanan thinks that the Pandavar is dead. Yudistiran asks Bheeman to become the king, but Vidurar and Kunthi opposes this. By the end of the book youll be able to guess that this was due to Vidurars love for his son.

Abhimanyu- You will be able to identify this guy in every movie made on war. Someone who is young and charming, someone whom you love, but will be killed for sure in a heroic way. I guess all those characters were inspired from this little master. All other heroes are overshadowed by this boys charm. Bheeman is enthralled by his charisma and humility [so is yours truly]. He fights till his last breath and takes down many of his opponents before the merciless knowledgeable so called acharyas along with hundreds of soldiers attack the poor unarmed boy :-(

Now waiting eagerly for the Secret of the Nagas [Second book in the Shiva trilogy]. Ill get it tomorrow <:-P

Finally an explanation : Genetics !

2011-06-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

The title of the post is one of my friends comment, upon hearing the below incident.
A few days ago..
Sheela ki jawani songs on tv. Amma watches very few hindi stuff, that too only when we compel her and hold her eyes open.[ How she manages to doze off within 10 mins, that too with our high pitched non stop gibberish around is something i never understand.] However this is one song she likes. After watching for a minute her as usual unanswerable doubts pop up.
Amma : Which is this heroine ? Kareena ?
Me : Katrina.
Amma : Her character in the movies mentally unstable or something ???
Me: I havent seen the movie. But I really dont think so.
Amma : Does she have that disease amir khan had in Gajni ??
Me [raising eyebrow]: Short term memory loss ? No. Where in world did you get that idea from???
Amma : Then why is she going around asking everyone 'Whats my name?' !!!

Aftermath

2011-04-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

Never take anyone for granted. You never know whats going through the other persons mind.

Try not to be dependant on some one else. Learn to be self sufficient.

Dont expect everyone in the world to be like you. Once when my roommate freaked out coz she found out someone had suicided in our next room in the past , i told her "Imagine it was you or me who died. Will we come back to trouble innocent people ???" Eventhough this calmed her down, now I know this is not the analysing method i should use in all situations. There are lots of people better than you and much more worse than you. Dont assume just because you wouldnt do something, that others wont too.

Its impossible to figure out someone completely, or so I think. Or to put in a better way.. people change and forget to tell each other.

Mistakes are human. Learn from them. Learn to admit. Learn to apologize. Banish excuses.

It makes you a better and bigger person when you own up your mistakes. Running away from problems just delays it. You will have to face them again.

Misunderstandings if present, should be cleared at the earliest.

Your actions speak more than your words. They represent your character, your values and even your upbringing. So please think twice before you act.

When theres a conflict between your heart and brain, hear both out properly. I feel the heart always assumes things in a way which will not cause pain to it and tries to convince you thats true. Listen to your brains logic too, maybe the brain really had a point.

Agree to disagree. Respect each others differences and move on.

When life puts you in an unexpected difficult situation try not to panic. Try to think clearly and calmly. You may blow things out of proportion to an irrecoverable stage when you overreact.

Be considerate towards others feelings. Always try to think from the other persons persepective.

Express your feelings at the right time, be it love or anger. You shouldnt wait till the threshold where your anger bursts or deathbeds to show your love.

Know your duties and responsibilities. Being lazy is not an excuse.

Its easy to criticize people. You will not know the feeling until you are in their shoes.

It takes time to earn the good things in life ..trust,love or even a good word among people. While bad things happen easy and fast. Sometimes it doesnt appear fair, when something you earned through years is lost in seconds.

In the hard race of life, theres no room for the tender hearted. You need to be tough. Even if you arent life has its own ways of making you so.

Theres no use planning things in life. Man proposes, God disposes. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Last but not the least, practice what you preach .. sigh!

Loooooooooooong Time.. No see

2011-03-03T07:57:00.000-08:00

Its been 2 years.. just happened to land here somehow.. Everything has changed, blogs,social networking sites,people... Been out of touch with so many things that were a major part in my life 2 years ago.. Feeling an emotional rush after coming back to this page after so much time.. But its been soo long since i wrote anything [not specific to blogs here] that im literally at a loss of words. Missing good old blogging days.. there used to be a time when u would keep refreshing page waiting for comments. Now I feel like someone whos accidently found their diary entries of chilldhood :D . Im glad i wrote all these good for nothing stuff once upon a time. Im glad I could know wat i thot 5 years ago.
I dont wanna miss this feeling after another 5 years. I wanna start blogging again. Maybe i will. On that optimistic note, goodnight.
Yours Truly

Half century !

2009-10-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

The poor li'l bloggy has been taking baby steps for the past 3 years. Finally she has reached her 50th post. Thanks to the lazy blogger!
The blogger wants to apologise to the bloggy dear,
-for being lazy to blog often enough(the blogger does realise that other blogs of bloggy's age has got some five times the number of posts bloggy has got..but whats there in the count,its the love that the blogger has got for the bloggy that matters *fluttering eyelashes*)
-for filling her[The blogger is assuming that bloggy is female] pages with whiny posts or stolen works or childish tags
-for not remembering bloggys birthday. In blogger's defense it was the blogspot who screwed up everything. Had it not shown bloggy's first post as third and created all the confusions, the blogger could know bloggys birthday for sure and celebrate it in style. You know, the blogger would've taken all the blog readers to the taj on the special day, had it not been for the stupid blogspot!
-for remembering each and everyone of the bloggers birthday and mentioning it in bloggy, despite forgetting the day the bloggy was born*embarassed*

The blogger started off to write an entirely different post. But since the blogger's heart is filled with guilt and realization about the injustice and negligence faced by poor bloggy, the whiny posts can wait! Here's a toast to my sweet stupid eccentric crackpot blog , to my pensieve!

The Nursery Tag

2009-09-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I found this tag when i was surfing the blogosphere. Found it quite interesting. Let me see what comes to my mind first for each of the alphabets.
A-Amma, probably the first word i learnt as well :-)
B- Blogs???
C- Craziness, my inborn talent.
D- Dogs, because i am too scared of them. And no, i dont hate them. I know that they are the most sincere and the best friend man can have. Infact i love them too, from a distance:D
E- Errrrrrrrrr...nothing comes to my mind
F- F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Yes, after 8 years I am still as crazy about the show as ever.
G- my sister,the first and worst enemy of my life :P
H- Homeo medicine. I forget to have them quite often. (Its for allergy and not for what you think :P)
I- do i even need to mention? As Geet says in JWM, Mein Apni Favorite hooon ;;)
J- Java, I loved it. Much better than C++ especially without the stupid pointers :P
K- Kartoos, my user name. (Hey 'you', remember? You had suggested it to me)
L- Love, the most divine feeling.
M- Maria,Meenu, 2 of my best friends.
N- Networks, my future??? Well,who am i kidding?
O- Optimism, I think i am developing it slightly
P- Pen, 18 years earlier if you had asked me i would have replied the same. Man,I need to improve my vocabulary(sighs)
Q- Quintessential :->(Well,I was determined not to say Queeen :P)
R- Rhymes, maybe coz i am doing the "nursery" tag
S- Saurav (just click the link if you need explanation)
T- my hometown :D . The only word i repeated 54238 times each and every day all the 7 months i was in mysore. My friends used to threaten me at knifepoint fed up of hearing the word. Its been 3 months since i got back, i still cant believe my luck and now i know what the word BLISS means.
U- You >:D<
V- We ;;) (I do chat a lot :-? )
W- Whine, something i used to do a lot(i said 'do' not drink :P)
X- Xmas , coz i dunno many words starting with X
Y- yawns
Z- Zebra..is that the only word i know for Z :-O. Ah, I know Zilch :-(

Yet another stolen work to keep my blog alive :-D

2009-07-27T10:11:00.000-07:00

One of my friends did this some years back. Accidently landed upon it today. I like it :-)

P.S : Sorry for posting it without your consent :D

2009-07-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

A 2 year old card lying on my table reads

"Guess whats your birthday gift FROM ALL OF US"
A bunch of flowers,
A cruise across the world,
Tickets to your favorite movie,
A huge yummy cake,
A bi...g box of chocolates..."

Open the card and a bunch of miniature people jumps outta it saying..
"WELL...
IT'S JUST ALL OF US-
YOUR FAVOURITE
BUNCH OF PEOPLE ,
FOR YOU,AS YOUR GIFT :-P ! "

How i wish you were here today!

Kamala Surayya,MJ and now LohithaDas???

2009-06-28T03:02:00.000-07:00

Lohithadas passed away a few hours ago.Such a big loss to the malayalam movie industry and the sensible movie lovers. We might have had bigger losses like that of Padmarajan and Bharathan earlier. But then i was too small to realise it. Its only when the news channels went on and on about Lohithadas's works that i realised most of my favorites were written by him. I couldnt name one which i didn't like. Nivedyam,Veendum Chila VeetuKaryangal,Sallapam,Bhoothakannadi,Thooval kottaram, Kireedam, Chenkol, Amaram, Valsalyam, Venkalam, KAMALADALAM, Bharatham, Sasneham, Kudumbapuranam, Kanmadam, Kasthoorimaan..the list goes on and on. Kireedam and Kamaladalam are the works i loved the most in Malayalam cinema itself. But back then i was so awed by MohanLals performance that i never thought much about the person who gave birth to characters like Sethumadhavan and Nandagopan. He had also created strong female characters like Bhanu of Kanmadam and Priyamvadha of Kasthoorimaan. Its only now when he left us that i realize what a golden mark he has left in the epics of malayam cinema.I am yet to see his debutant work Thaniyavarthanam.
Today its such a disheartening day for the Malayalis all over the world.
I am sure he will live in our hearts as long as Malayalam cinema remains through his works. May God give strength to his family. May his soul rest in peace.

Be Water Wise!!!

2009-06-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

Long time since I posted >>>:D<<<

Its been 7 months and 1 week I guess. I missed blogging quite a lot :-). Its been some days since I was dying to pen down my thoughts on Gujarat assembly’s anti terror bill.

..he he..who am I kidding? I cant even pull a line like that. Sigh. Anybody who’s googling for the anti terror bill and landing upon this page ..i am extremely sorry..this post has nothing to do with it. I just had an accidental glimpse of todays newspaper(I know I know I am not proud of it)on my way to kitchen. Following the tradition, this post is also about me :-D

So the news of the year is that I am posted back to my hometown and im still in that ecstatic mood. As a matter of course , my official life is abundant with my cleverness and wisdom as portrayed in the instance below.

I am strictly against the wastage of resources (eventhough I fall asleep a lot with my lights and pc on). So I appreciate the save water and green it initiative banners which they have kept throughout my office.

One day when I was in the restroom I noticed waterflow not stopping in one of the toilets. The flush there had some problem. On seeing the wastage of tons of water my heart ached. In the walls of the toilet there was 1 poster having the save water message and beneath that was written.”in case of waterflow not stopping call bala-98950*****”.

I memorized the number and went back to my cabin. There I presented the issue in front of my cabin mates. They also encouraged me to do the good deed of saving some water for our planet. So I took the phone and dialed the number.

bala:- “Hello”

Me :- “Ivide toiletil vellam nilkunila. Athu parayaan vilichathaa”(I just called to say the waterflow is not stopping in the toilet)

bala :-“Helloooo”

Me :-“bala allee??”(Is this bala???)

bala :- “Alla” (Nope)

Cling!

Guess Who's Back!!!

2009-06-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

:-h

2008-11-14T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hatched

2008-11-12T23:49:00.000-08:00

Once remained inside a cocoon
When i was a larva they fed me with a spoon
Then became the pupa,the fun filled teenage
But they never closed me in a golden cage

Remaining facet,being a butterfly
Scared,Nervous,Yet ready to fly
Time to transpire,outta the comfort zone
Now its time to make it on your own

Staring at a turning point
Scaring if it'd disappoint
Trying keenly to observe
Whats hidden behind that curve

All those who went ahead left some footprints
Here i am coming,following their hints
Got a day left,to stay in this warm nest
To scribble trash and waste more time
Realizing its not about words that rhyme:D

The Evolution Tag

2008-11-09T09:51:00.000-08:00

Two questions from the past, present and future. Answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere.

Tagged by crusader

Yesterday-Your oldest memories

My first Birthday-my aunt gave me this doll of Indira Gandhi . Amma had made sadya(traditional kerala feast) for a few people and Achan invited his whole office to home without any notice. Though I dont remember how they managed.
Our house owner lived downstairs and whenever I used to switch on some light unnecessarily Amma used to scold me saying I am wasting Govt's current and the uncle downstairs better not see it. So I lived with the impression that the uncle downstairs is Government.
Apparently I was a very well-behaved(read lazy) child. I would stay wherever they kept me unlike my sister and cousins.

What were you doing ten years ago?

I was in 7th std. Classes were shuffled at the beginning of 7th std for the first time. So i was lonely at first. Then I met M (whom i mentioned here ) . Those were the good old days when I was mad about the man who retired out of International cricket today. I just realised I still am.

Today

Spending my last few days at home before I join my job. Having bittersweet feelings about leaving this place. Have to finish a lotta formalities,not to mention start packing before I go..which is keeping me busy fortunately, not giving much time to think about how I am gonna miss my dear ones there.

Tomorrow

Got to go to the hospital to take some medical tests which the company wants me to undergo. Should also visit JD,an old teacher of mine.

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

Happily married. Well settled.Beeing at a job which I love and which allows flexible hours letting me spend a lotta time with my family,living at a place which isnt far away from my parents. And they say I am not ambitious.

If you build a time capsule what would it contain?

Memories of college life,Photographs regarding the same, Memories of the good old days at home fighting with sister for a piece of chocolate or the last spoon of ice cream..memories of the times when she was so-wanna-hug-you-right-now kinda innocent and cute. So many memories ragarding incidents which may appear just another normal day thing to others,but is very special to my heart. Also those blogposts which are dear to me,which I think are deserved to be read.

I tag you.

Helloooooo..Hellooooooooo..Anybody thereee???

2008-11-04T22:16:00.000-08:00

10 more days left for me in my hometown... and no, surprisingly I'ven't started getting all emotional yet. If you ask me what I am feeling right now..I am feeling a lot like Monica. Remember the episode where Rachel has to move out and Monica is angry that Rachel isn't sad about moving out. I am feeling the exact same thing, I've been living with these people for 22 years and now I am gonna leave and they dont seem to even care that I'd be gone..Hmmpff. ITS THE END OF AN ERA for crying out loud. Everyone is busy in their own world. Amma cant take one day leave for me. Sis is too busy with her exams. Dad seems to be busy planning some trip to Mumbai. Amooma(Grandma) is the only one who seems to care. But she always cared. Every other grandchild of hers claims that shes been partial towards me always..and I agree. So shes all worried that I wont be eating properly there and stuff..sweet of her. Others..hmpff..theyd know once i leave..theyd miss me so much ..mere ek chalak ke liye thadpeega..hmmpff..well who am i kidding..They may not even realise that im gone..sighh. Yesterday Rajiv was telling me.. the first week after you are gone they'd call u daily...after that..if you call them they start asking why did u call?:((
This probably would be my last post from my hometown...Hope this wouldnt be my last post ever! Though I am having a bad feeling about it..For once the company has blocked blogspot there.. Then if you dont blog for a long while you would start feeling lazy to blog and feel at a loss of topics to blog about. This is my 40th post i guess..outta which more than 15 were posted when i was jobless here during the last couple of months. That itself shows that once you start blogging you can go on and on..and once you feel outta touch..you wont feel like posting at all. I promise myself that i wont let it happen..that I wont stop blogging at any cost..even if its after a short interval..not that my readers are gonna be heartbroken hearing me leave either(you dont care too..hmpff:(( ). I wonder if i have any readers at all:D..apart from those innocent souls who accidently land on this page coz google took them here while searching for something which isnt even remotely connected to the contents of the page. If anyone is there >:D< you for going through my crazy posts...I'll be gone for a while.. Don't miss me too much,k???? Bidding adieu
your's not so joblessly

P.S: pray for me that i get posting back here:D

A li'l Chit Chat

2008-10-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

Here lemme babble a little about whats going on with my life(like I dont do that enough:D). I've got my call letter for my job and will be joining it soon. I had assumed my next post would be a sentimental one, crying my eyes out about leaving everything behind. Guess i would save the melodrama for the next post:D. Talking about myself, today was a rare non boring day outta my always boring life. I went out shopping today with friend1(ofcourse shopping alone is damn boring). We went to buy clothes,bags,footwear...ok not boring my "macho" readers by going into the details of that.
We went to eat and friend1 calls this other friend(who i am not familiar with) to join us for lunch. Heres a situation which i am not very comfortable with.Yeah, I am not the perfect talker while meeting someone for the first time and most of my friends have told me their first impression isnt the right(lets not talk about the best:D)impression of my actual character. So i was feeling very awkward at first. But then i remembered how i had met this other friend(friend2), through this same mutual friend1. At first i had this same problem with friend2 as well. I even remember he had bowed to me after our first meeting(coz he never saw another "talkative" creature like me before). The strange thing about me is I can talk quite well to people over the net. Thus i started mingling much more with him through net..through the daily conferences we used to have with mutual friends..and then we began to meet more often..and now hes one among my close circle of friends..he is the first commentor in most of my posts. So thinking about him i started feeling more at ease with this friends friend having lunch with me.By the time we were leaving i felt quite ok. After all we never know how we are going to be gifted with another precious friend who is going to be there with us through our happiness and hardships. So here is a toast(or rather a post) to all my friends and especially to my friends whom i got through other friends and for friends who introduced me to such new friends. Love you all>:D<

P.S: To friend 2 mentioned in this post-You just missed an awesome treat by friend1 because you were too busy to join us:P

Childhood

2008-10-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

* Exchanging xmas and newyear cards with classmates every year.

* Collecting erasers which smells good and rulers which has this sparkling effect ,some even had fluid inside.

* Throwing classmates notebook outside through the window and then going out to fetch it forced by the teacher.

* Getting scratched on the face by this friend (whos a doctor now),while threatening to complaint to the teacher about something she did.

* Going to the neighbours homewhen they play cassettes in their VCR.

* Exchanging cassettes with neighbours after proudly owning a VCR.

* Having catfights with sister to attend the phone and eventually freaking out the caller with multiple hellos and squeals from the fight.

* Dialling 161 to make a fool outta others or sometimes just to hear the phone ring.

* Waiting eagerly every sunday night for superhit muqabla,every friday night for the chitrageetham and the hindi movie,wednesday nights for chitrahaar and sunday evenings for the weekend movie. If you have a cable you watch tv on your time,if not you schedule yourself according to their time.

* Bringing 1 rupee from home and treasuring it to buy sip up from the so called canteen

* Running out hearing the sounds of aeroplane.

* Waiting for Balarama every week to know how mayaavi fooled kutoosan and dakini this time and to read about the detectives jampanum thumpanum which was introduced quite later(wonder if they are still there)

* Going to listen to a segment either from Mahabharath or Ramayan everyday before sleep (even after hearing the whole epic a hundred times), from the grandfather whos now no more.

My first entrance exam

2008-10-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

Was reading Li'l Archie. Reminded me of my good old innocent days. Not that i remember much of it. Though this incident came to mind. Li'l Kartoos first entrance exam.
It so happened that Li'l Kartoos was studying in XYZ school for L.K.G and U.K.G,which was nearer to home. But the school had only upto 7th std. So Li'l Kartoos's parents decided to change her school for 1st Std. As shown in movies these days, the cruel parents made poor Li'l Kartoos write a competitive exam at the age of 5. Bigger Kartoos still dont understand how Li'l Kartoos passed it.
So day before her exam Li'l Kartoos's mother made her mug up details of our country and its culture and "Father of the Nation" and first Prime Minister and so much more, when she hardly knew to write ABCD and 123. Her mother gave her tips to write the same answer on the question paper so that mummy could check the answers later. So Li'l Kartoos wrote the exam,came back and gave her mother question paper proudly.
1. What is your name?
Li'l Kartoos.
Amma said so far so good. Seeing the next question her face turned pale.
2. What is your father's name?
Mahathma Gandhi!!!

The Mosaic tag

2008-10-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

This is also another session of self tagged :D.You
may ask if i dont have any other job. The answer is NO. Wandering through different blogs,finding out different tags and implementing them on my own blog, thats how jobless i am these days. If you know of any other job vacanacy which PAYS please let me know.

Here are the rules of this tag.

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food? right now?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. What is your favorite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favorite dessert?

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. What is one word that describes you?

12. What is your user name?

Heres my tile:

I bet you cant find out my answers seeing the tile.

Now its fun time. I get to tag people. So i tag you.

Once you have read this theres no turning back. You have to do the tag. Or you are gonna have 20 years of badluck. Zelenia Zombie tried to ignore this message and she was raped by a mad bull on the road.
So do this tag in 15 minutes and have your crush fall in love with you in 15 minutes

Do this tag in 25 minutes and have your crush fall in love with you in 25 minutes.

Now you have some idea how bored i am. Good.
I am guessing you are as jobless as i am or even more. Otherwise you wouldnt have reached this line,would you? Anyways good to know that I have company. Stopping now before i write more crazy stuff. Bye Byeeeeeeee.

P.S : I know I am yet to do the tag given by praveen, kya karoo forbidden fruit tastes more:D

Sourav calls it a day

2008-10-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

I fell in love with this guy when i was 11. You can frown and roll your eyes all the way you want,but it was his looks that attracted me at first. I wanted to put a photo showing him at that age with those looks,but i couldnt find the right photo. Ofcourse i had thousands of his pictures at those times which i had treasured. But then i thought i had grown up and that hes just old news.So i dint take them when i shifted house.
When i first saw him i just liked his features and his surname(dont ask me y,i was 11). An year later I met M. M was crazy about sourav and she probably still is. Our crushes grew into craziness in each others presence. We talked about him and only him during our breaktime and even during classtime. Once i stole a page of a magazine from my tuition class which contained a photo of him which I then thought was the best photo that could ever be taken of anybody in the world(i was 11). M called his home like a 1000 times and finally got to talk to Dona. I called his home twice(i was 11*embarrassed). The first time they said something in bengali which i dint understand. The next time i specifically mentioned that i am from kerala and they told me she isnt home. I dint call again and thought they just lied to me. But the next day i saw a photo in paper of sourav and family in a foreign country and i was happy. But my craziness couldnt match up with M's. She would collect arrowroot biscuit wrappers just because they were made in Kolkata. It was our dream to visit Kolkata. We both were shattered when the Nagma controversy occured. She cried. I didnt. I trusted him. We both danced with joy when Sana was born. We used to make a list and consider names for the baby when Dona was expecting. Those where the days of madness and childishness.
Years passed. We joined different colleges and became all matured. The craziness disappeared. I started even laughing at those How to make maggi waala ganguly jokes. But felt bad when he was thrown out of the team. Still my life dint revolve around him anymore. Today he announced his retirement. I know he deserved a much better retirement, without being thrown out of the team this many times,without controversies and allegations of a forced retirement. The comebacks he has made was even beyond the expectations of even his most optimistic fan. My heart aches at the thought that i wontbe watching him again in the field, that he would never be making another comeback,that i would be hardly seeing him and hearing his news. I just hope he scores well in his last match and waves goodbye with dignity. Wishing him good luck with all my heart on his last match>:D<.
P.S: I know 4 outta 5 people who reads this is gonna be Ganguly haters>:P,I dont care:P I love him anyway:P

An interesting piece of conversation

2008-10-04T02:56:00.000-07:00

I was watching swades in star one on Gandhi Jayanti. Pal Pal hai bhari (the song with sita and ravan) was playing on tv. My parents happened to see it.

Amma: Actually Ravan is quite decent than other villains
Achan: Yeah,better than Ram
Everyone looked at him as if he said the unspeakable. Understanding that he owes an explanation he continued

"Even after knowing Sita for that long, knowing the virtues of her,he accepted her only after agnishudhi, whereas Ravan treated her with respect in Ashokavani."

I thought maybe he had a point. I am not saying Ravana is better than Ram.I'm sure there must be reasons in the epics for each event.I've always loved the Maryadapurushotham Ram. But it seemed interesting that maybe even Gods when born as humans werent perfect. Or even the cruelest of the devils have a brighter side:-)
yours joblessly

Thirakatha(might contain spoilers)

2008-09-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Saw a movie after a long while with friends. Some aspects that i liked about the movie.

Priyamani-When we were entering the theatre none of us liked her much. By the time the movie was over,everyone agreed that she did a fabulous job.

This dialogue of Prithviraj(who plays a director) when the superstar gives him a date out of the blue. He says he doesnt believe in getting a superstars date somehow and then create a story accordingly. I guess if all directors believed in this principle many of the waste films couldve been avoided.

The effect created by the fact that its a real story. Some stories make you laugh and you forget about them the next instant( like OSO), some make you cry and are made only to make people cry(like akashadoothu), some make you think(like swades). This one generated a strange feeling in me. Maria was crying next to me, I so badly wanted to cry,but I couldn't. I felt a sharp sting,but tears wouldnt come out. It took several minutes to break the silence after the movie was over.No,Im not being overdramatic.This is what I felt,doesnt mean you would feel the same. People differ drastically and you may fall asleep during the film.

The way in which Love was portrayed in the movie. It was different. None of the stereotyped teenage romance and living together 24*7*365 as soulmates. It showed that Love could be as intense even if you are miles apart,living different lives,pretending not caring,being egotistic. I dunno to describe it. See it to feel it.

The short life spanned character of Praveena whose dialogues are just the opposite of what you expect from a typical movie character under such circumstances.

I loved this scene where Priyamani wants and expects to see her love in her deathbed. She,being a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy isnot looking at her best. In this scene you see her wearing a pottu(bindya) unusual to her character.When she knows that hes not gonna turn up she slowly removes it. I dunno if others even noticed it, but my heart just went out to her seeing that scene.

It depicts the hardships underwent by others so well that it makes people like me who panics on a hiccup feel ashamed

The fact that a movie with such a humble casting could create such an effect that the viewer has been thinking about it for the past 8 hours.

P.S-I thought i maybe hyping it,but maria just told me shes been thinking about it as well. So its for sure that there's something about it that touches your heart.

Brilliant Blog Award

2008-09-25T22:51:00.000-07:00

Its been a week since I've been honored with this "Brilliant Weblog 2008" by crusader.
I've been given this award(Nope,Not because of my influence in the jury:-P) along with the words "A blog which changes moods according to the writer's mood swings. She is the blog and the blog is she. Should I say more?" Very frankly even i couldn't define my blog this perfectly,yet so simply. Now do i need to say more about his writing skills???
About the award,here are the rules:
* When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
* Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design
* Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog Award'
* Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
* And pass it on!

As I told before this was given by praveen, one of the people who inspired me to start my small blog and has been there since,encouraging me. Thanks to you.
Its now that Ive realized that I've very few blogger friends. This doesnt mean I dont read blogs. I go from blog to blog reading random posts,not keeping track of where I go. And i never commented on those blogs unless it was a friend. By the time i read the post and wanna tell the blogger that i loved it, there would be so many comments that i wonder if the blogger has assistants to manage the comments section. All that i wanted to say would be already said and i wont feel like being just another one among the thousands(I know I know me and my stupid complexes). Fine, not boring you with another "about me,me and me again"post. Its time to announce the winners.

Rockus- I know you've already been granted with this award,but it doesn't hurt to win it again,right:D
Freebird- Another blogger whose blogs are her views and nothing more. Its some time since you last updated.
Crusader-For all his bold posts. I dint know he writes so well in malayalam until he started his malayam blog. Its a pity i cant follow it now.
Spectator speaks- Its only recently that i started visiting your blog and i liked the posts i read:-)
The Enigma unveiled- This is another blog that i started visiting recently and i loved his story 'Never say Goodbye'.
Sayesha's- This is a blog i visit often and admire.I soo envy her writing skills:D
The Dream World- As the crusader told,i only wish you would blog more often:-)

So thats it. Ive listed 7 blogs i love and there are many others as well. Just mentioned the ones that came to my mind first. So congrats everyone, keep passing the award:-)

A Wordsmith's Work

2008-09-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.
When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."

"The world's greatest lie: At a certain point in our lives we lose control of what's happening to us and our lives become controlled by fate."

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting."

"Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon."

"Every search begins with beginner’s luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested."

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. "

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."

"Making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."

"People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want. We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same Hand."

"Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man"

"When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires in helping you to acheive it." [You haven't read the book and still this line rings a bell??]

When Do You Know You need a Shrink???

2008-09-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

Is it when the voices inside overpower the noises outside?

Is it when you are jobless and still cut your friends out?

Is it when you find time to get worried from a busy day?

Or when you feel guilty that you'ven't worried all day?

One moment you wanna get the hell outta here

And in the next you know that everythings dear

You think about the past,all the fun you had

And regret about those when you should've gone when they called

You think about the future n worry about it in vain

And find out with remorse that old times wont come again

You know the anxiety brings insomnia and nothing more

But worry is something you cant ignore

You waste your time for past n future

Without realising the present's departure

But when the time comes n you know you gotta leave

You will know what you lost n you know you'll grieve.

Pappu pass ho gayaaaa!!!

2008-08-26T11:00:00.000-07:00

Finally an Engineer! *grabs the reader and dances around the blog*

Self-tagged

2008-08-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

10 Realizations

I didn’t know the spelling of realization until Word showed a red line under realisation.

Its always better to type in Word first before posting in Blogger.

Blogger is stupid. This is my first blog entry ever, but Blogger shows it as my third entry.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S isn’t the only good sitcom in the world. Then it’d be like saying there is only one flavor of ice cream. I just grabbed a spoon :D

Even though I am very nervous about anything and everything and worry unnecessarily about senseless stuff, I am more bold than I think when it comes to the real stuff. I realized that after my surgery.

If you try to make everyone in the world happy you would end up sad. So do what you think is right.

When you have a season (1 or 2 especially) of Prison Break in your hard disk, you cant just stop after an episode and go sleep. If you gotta stop it should be in the middle of an episode.

I never take advices seriously until something happen and once it happen I start the act of whining..Why GOD?Why?? Why r u doing this to me :((???? (like Joey)

If I start having a hiccup I start to google about all the diseases that it might be a symptom of , their treatments, the chances that those diseases can recur etc (reminds me of a chapter we had in school.. The Man Who was a Hospital)

Most of my blog entries are either whiny or emotional or tags.. My friends term my entries as “depressing” and have been asking me to be more positive.

9 things I’m glad about:

My family

My friends

My college(I can see my friends rolling their eyes:D).Even though it was a very strict and school like place with uniforms, it witnessed some of the biggest changes in me and gifted me with some of the most important people in my life.

The fact that I dint stop blogging like some people I know. Inspite of the fact that there aren’t any great innovative posts or posts that deals with the socio economic situations of today(not that such blogs are not good just that I’ve no clue to write about them) to boast about, I am happy that I dint quit. Atleast it would be fun for me to read it when I’m 70. When I started even I dint expect me to continue blogging even after 2 -3 years.

It feels good to know that someone read your blog.

I’m glad I got a job. It seems like it wasn’t that big a deal now. Until the day before I got the job I thought it was impossible.

Even though I complaint about silly stuff, I know that there are lots of people who suffers much more. So I’m glad about everything I have.

During my +2 years I thought I would never study ever again.. Im glad it dint become true.

Now I’m glad that I had 8 things to be glad about:D

8 things I badly wanna do:

Blog more often

Read more blogs,books.

Become perfectly healthy.

Shop without a very limited budget :D

Visit many places with family or friends.

See season 4 of prison break

Take better care of myself(but too lazy to)

Wake up earlier.

7 things I often tell myself

Be less bothered about what others think(not coz I don’t care coz I care too much).

Be less selfish.

Be less lazy.

Be less sensitive.

Be optimistic.

Don’t always do stuff on an impulse. Think before you act.

Don’t say yes when you wanna say no.

6 people I wanna thank

There would be more than 6 people. So lets just say family, friends and some teachers too.

5 things I believe in

God

Myself

Love.

Science

Murphy’s Laws:D

4 people I tag

I tag anyone who feels like doing a tag.

3 Confessions.

When I was in 1^st std, I threw my benchmates book out through the window because she wouldn’t move.

I have once thrown a key at my amma because she didn’t give me a packet of chocolates my uncle brought when I was in UKG. It hit her nose and bled. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I have been having many problems with my nose.

I am guilty that I dint put one tenth the effort my parents did for my studies in my +2. They had a hard time, yet they did everything for me and I let them down. Its ok, all’s well that ends well.

2 Promises.

Its better not to promise than do it and later break it. After all we are just human.

1 That's exclusively yours. can write anything.

I was not tagged by anyone, saw this tag on rockus page, felt like doing it and its DONE.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S-TOW the gal who laughs at her own jokes

2008-08-14T05:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was having this conversation about friends with Ken. Then I realized that I’ve always had someone really close as a friend. Have you had a friend so close that you thought everyday that it was the closest you can get and realize later that you were wrong? Friends like chandler and joey?*8->* Like Michael and Sucre??? Nah, much more than that . Someone who thought exactly the same stuff as you did, and even when you are among a crowd you can read the other’s mind just through eye contact? I hade one.

We knew each other for long, but the beautiful journey of friendship bestowed upon us 8 years ago. She was very talkative and some credit goes to her for changing my quiet nature. BSNL’s business flourished in the year 2001-2002 until our moms locked the phones, or at least mine did..and I was provided with a 100 rupee BSNL card for each month. And they say I don’t talk much! The sleepovers were fun, I still remember our first one.. What was a combined study session in our parents view was a session of watching horror movies in actual!

We would talk for hours and hours,actually she would talk for hours and hours about stuff from this new sitcom she is watching to Brad Pitt’s and Ian Thorpe’s looks. If it wasn’t for her blabbermouth and constant persuasion I would’ve never watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S(she literally dragged me to make me watch it) and it would’ve been one of the biggest losses of my life:D. I still remember our conversation.

She: You should see it.. (someone’s someone)was saying it’s really good.
Me*thinking how to get out of this one*: What is it about?
She: Its about 6 people who are friends…3 guys and 3 gals. I just watched another episode yesterday, u know
Me: Oh
She: Well out of them one guy and one gal are siblings..One of the other guys is in love with the sister of this guy..
Me*sleeping with my eyes open*:Oh
She: …and the brother guy loves her sisters friend..
Me: Brother likes sisters friend..sister likes brothers friend…sounds like just another soap to me*yawning*..I don’t think I wanna see this.. You saw yesterday’s match?
She: You see 1 episode.. you’d like it..So where were we…Yeah…So the sister thinks the brother is trying to steal her thunder and she becomes ang..
Me: steal her what???
She: Thunder
Me: Like Thumbs up??
She: That was taste the thunder..It’s a usage there.. And Chandler proposed to Monica, the sister..
Me: Chandelier??
She: Its something like that I dunno if its pronounced with a Cha or Sha.
Me:He proposed?? So they are not teenagers?
She: Err..more like in their 30s
Me:*straight face*
She: Edo..They don’t look 30.Just watch this 1 episode with me.
Me: No
She: $%&^**&#
Thus after much dragging and fighting for remote I watched my first episode of friends and I think it was the one where Rachel teaches Joey to sail.
Me: I don’t understand this chandelier guys talking much..He speaks too fast u know.
She: I know. But the rest of them are ok.. Etathi(her sis) teases me that I don’t understand the show and I just laugh when there’s laughter in the background.. I’m gonna show her..Hmmppf!

Thus our enslavement to F.r.i.e.n.d.s started together too. Apart from friends, she broadened my interests in books as well..ie she made me quit Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys:D. I have this problem where if I liked something I’d stick only to that one and wont move on. You’d understand when I say the only sitcom I saw in 8 years was friends.. kept seeing it over and over and over again,but never tried another one.

We joined the same school after 10th . I took Bio just because she wanted to write medicine entrance. We attended very few classes in +2..but whenever we went to school,we made sure the other one was coming as well.

I still remember it was one of those days that our maid told grandma that 2 gals near her house eloped together and that’s when my Granny started playing Kanta Bhen :D:D:D. We both were ROFL hearing her remarks like “If it was a guy we could have married her off to him.. What will we do about this friendship?”

Among other things she was the one who persuaded me to start blogging as well. A common blog was the first idea..but somehow that didn’t work out.

For various reasons over time we slowly drifted apart. We are still good friends, we still keep in touch..But I guess both of us would agree that the peak time of our friendship was during our school days. I’ve found really good friends during my college life but it was through her that the term best friend posed a new meaning for the first time in my life.For that reason however much we fought with each other or find new friends I’m sure we’d have a special place in each others heart.

P.S:-
When I started I wanted to write about many of my friends in this post, but seeing the length of my post decided to write the rest later. So you out there, stop sulking;))

Also if YOU read this atrakangu ponganda :-P. Wait till I write a post about all the trouble you have caused me and how our Math miss thought your company is spoiling me:P

2008-08-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

- For some reason I wanted to remove the content of this post, but didnt want to lose the comments section, hence removing the content and keeping the post-

Loss of Words

2008-08-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

I came online 10 minutes ago and found many buzzes from my friends. But most of them are currently offline. Not everyone has nocturnal habits like me. Finally i manage to make Rajiv talk to me for like 2 minutes from his busy schedule of watching probably some science fiction movie.

Rajiv Nair: joining date vannu

Rajiv Nair: august 28th

Rajiv Nair: chennai

me: accenture?

Rajiv Nair: yeah

me: coool

Rajiv Nair: everybody same date and time

Rajiv Nair: i mean date and place

me: :D

Rajiv Nair: watching movie

Rajiv Nair: brb

Thats it.He said it like he get calls from accenture every night. Im still in shock. Yeah yeah I know it shouldnt be shocking news when people get call letters from accenture after they get placed in accenture [:P]. But it first of all reminds me that we all have very few days together. On the last day of our college when everyone was splashing buckets of water at each other and writing goodbye notes i was kinda yawning,staying outta all the fun for reasons i still dunno of. I guess what kept me emotionless was this senior's words about those last days..that each day you say goodbye,hug and go and the next day they meet somehow again,be it at someones home, or college or at amb or movies or somewhere and that the last day doesnt mean anything. But now I realize its goodbye..or in Anand's words..CS04 spreading its wings :D. Speaking of him i had a hard time when he left, because he was the one whom i talked the most to in the net. And the problem of having one such friend is that you dont give others the same attention and time..and once that one person leaves theres a big void in your life..you hope that you have the busiest of the days..I had gone through similar phase when aswathi had left for an year after +2..I have sat infronta the pc looking at other people in my list online..reluctant to go talk to them..make the first move.. since i havent talked to them online much earlier...wondering what would go through the other person's head..and finally dropping the idea coz of the lack of courage. Still there were people who cared..who understood and i am grateful to them. Whenever I stayed home feeling lazy or coz of the lack of transportation or coz of the rain they insisted that i come..and i went,feeling happy that someone cares about you..thankyou guys>:D<..I've quite drifted apart from what i intended to write.

Anyway..about half a dozen people leaving soon..all close ones..Im gonna miss all of them.. maria's slow and steady planning and confusions until the last moment[Shes still discussing with me if or not to join accenture:D]..Radhi's beauty tips :D[watch out chennai..this is one trendy girl;)]..prithi's winking nature;))..Id never forget the time we had together during the constructive imaginative sessions of m companion:D.. I know I shouldnt be talking like its THE end..but you have to admit its not gonna be the same[One thing id be relieved of would be rj's pj's:D].

I realise that the day wouldnt be far for me(with some hope)..having bittersweet feelings thinking about it..thrilled about being on my own...sad about leaving behind homely comforts..never lived apart from my family. I wanted to write something else when i started, still wanna write more..but my laziness is overpowering my creativity [B-)] !(ahem)

P.S : too lazy to think of a title:-)

2008-07-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

Tears are words the heart cant express

What a BORING papa

2008-07-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

Warning: The blogger aint in her perfect mood and read only if you are prepared for a lotta whining.

Another birthday passed by. I just realised that its more than 2 years since I started to blog because I’ve written about my birthday of 2006 in it. So after 2 years of baby steps my blog has finally reached its 25^th post ( #:-S). About this birthday…well it was the most uneventful one since I got into college, if not the most boring ever. Talking about earlier birthdays…my 19^th birthday..the first one during the so called engineering course.. eventhough it was after 1 year of college life together very few people knew me then. So there weren’t any classmates ..a couple of friends came..we cut cake..it was soo sweet that my folks had to take me to the hospital at midnight. 20^th birthday was good..a few people came to my home..one of them baked me a cake..I still remember it as a sweet gesture while he does as a way he saved much money.We had a great time.. and a candlelight birthday as the whole area surrounding my home dint have electricity for a couple of days…21^st birthday…Many came…I wouldn’t call it the best party of cs04 or anything.. but was good..22^nd birthday...harthal..wonderful birthday..eventhough I had removed reminders many people called…thank you guys. .it was like a drop of rain in the desert of boredom…ok no more metaphors.

Life is soo damn boring…I’d rather have 5 hours of continuous lecture on microprocessors by koko in the backbench than this.

I have so many things which I can do and utilize my free time. I can cook…and I hate the fact that always something or the other from the recipe would be missing in my kitchen. I can read.. I hate that I would feel saturated after reading sometime.. I can go out …I hate the rain which brings knee height muddy water in my lane.. I also hate lotsa other things.. I hate the pollen grains and all those tiny useless dust particles which cause allergy in my nose. I hate the stupid Indian postal service which wont deliver a courier in time. I hate the fact that my house is so far away from my friends’s. I hate the fact that my only friend whos near by has to leave in a week. I hate the fact that I dunno what to write next. I hate hypocrites. I hate the fact that I am selfish. I hate the fact that I just sit and whine and do nothing about anything. i hate Eve for eating the forbidden fruit. I hate the fact that I know I am gonna regret wasting my possibly last long vacation later and is still doing nothing. And I just found out anger is one letter short of danger and I am going crazy here..lalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Research :-B

2008-06-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

I've always thought its kinda lame that you put "only" forwards or lyrics of the songs you like in your blog. But lately that's what i do here. Not because ive changed my mind, but because i have been too lazy to write something and when i saw something interesting which i liked, used them as a means of not letting my blog die off...that even though i am lazy to type something i wanted to keep in touch with my bloggy. After this blah blah confession if you are thinking that the boredom and free time gave birth to a creative blogger inside me, i am sorry honey...sighh. I am here to post just another "lame" post. But I've decided to start blogging again anew. But again why do something today which you can postpone until tomorrow :D

These are some funny quotes that i found and i thought its quite true:D(just finished my college life)

1.When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.
2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
3. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one chapter you dint read
4. Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
Corollary: The night before the History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
5. There's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates
6. A College professor: someone who talks in other people's sleep
7. Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income—which he then spends sending his son to college
8. Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
9. Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.
10.Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from many, it's research.

Dedicated to CS04-08MBT

2008-04-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Where the hell is sportsman spirit in the “gentleman’s” game????

2008-01-06T01:43:00.000-08:00

I was watching the final day of India Australia second test and I am losing the respect I had for the game. Infact I haven’t written a blog in this much rage. Australia is the no 1 team in the world and nones questioning that . When they have the capability of winning a game fair and square, they should play a decent game and prove that they deserve to be the rulers of the game. It’s not only about the winning always, you have to set examples for the future generations..about great batting bowling and fielding, but also about the fairness of the game . Its evident that they have been and they are the best in the play and also the sledging. As Gavaskar said its them who came with the principle that what happens in the field stays in the field. But apparently now it stays in the field only when they give it. Complaining about Harbhajan when theres not even a witness after what they do on the field(rolling my eyes..maybe ponting is in search of ways to keep bhaji outta the coming games so that he wont get out in the first ball itself).But its actually upto them. Everyone has their own definition of professionalism. What drives me crazy is the umpiring of this game. Yesterday Kumble lost a hatrick just because of bad umpiring . If they aren’t sure why the hell cant they go for the third umpires decision? Today Dravid was given out caught behind when his bat wasn’t even visible on the screen . Dravid walked back in utter shock. The worst was the way Sourav’s wicket was lost. Clarke was the one lucky man to take this magical “catch”. The ball was grounded before it was in his hands and he rolled with the ball and the ball definitely touched the ground while his rolling celebrations as well(which was clearly visible on replays). Sourav is not convinced and he asks the umpire and this clever umpire asks Ponting if the catch was taken and Ponting says yes and India lost another batsman in a crucial stage. So now when the umpire has his doubts he doesn’t consult a third umpire or the umpire at the other end, but asks the opposing team captain? If the players were to decide themselves why the hell should there be an umpire??? To hold the bowlers cap while hes bowling? To tie the shoelace of the batsman? If its coz it’s the gentleman’s game that the umpire asking players , then I wonder why he hadn’t asked Dravid if he had nicked the ball before it was caught . Is the traffic one way in this road? Is India playing a 13 member team? Or maybe I am not bothered when the wrong decision is in favor of India that I don’t even realize it. Atleast im sure that dint happen in this match. Anyway lemme get back to the &%$@ game.
P.S: No net now, ill post this later
Match over. On their 16th consecutive test win a BIG BOO to Australia. Id rather have India lose the match than win it this way even if it’s a world cup final. Around 7 questionable decisions happened in this game and if there had been a fair umpiring the outcome might have been different .At the end of the day what really matters is who won..everyone will forget the mistakes the umpires made in a week and Aussies 16th consecutive win would be a golden page in cricket history. Life is so not fair!!!

Dont wait for it to happen. Take the First Step.

2007-12-14T11:53:00.000-08:00

This is something i got today from suji.Really liked it.So decided to save it here

Dont Worry,Be Happy:-)

2007-11-19T11:55:00.000-08:00

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

P.S: Special courtesy:Anand,Anoop,Rajiv,Swapna chechi:-)

Still alive

2007-07-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

"It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

"There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to our enemies, but just much more to stand up to our friends."

"We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, but battle on."

"It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open."

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

"It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up."

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

"According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else."

Kissing GoodBye..

2006-12-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

For the normal eyes, it’s just an old building ,the paint is faded, the doors make noises, the taps leak, the grills have started to rust, the mosaic chips are broken. You can open the maroon gate, enter the building, you reach the hall, maybe the most or atleast one of the most messy places you have ever seen. There would be a lotta books and old newspapers on the teapoy ,the days newspaper with each sheet separated on the couch, teeny weeny things on the window sills. You take the stairway on the left side go up the 16 stairs, turn to the right and you are standing in fronta the room of fantasies, there’s a sticker on the door saying .."Brain is Working,Don’t Disturb"..just a virtual definition,read it as "Mind is Building Castles in Air, Don’t Disturb". Turn the knob and you are in the land of dreams, the messy paradise. There would be a table and a chair on your left. You may need time to find the chair as you see it as a pile of clothes. An almirah on the side, don’t try opening it as the clothes inside may bounce out. The only thing which is okey dokey is the book shelf on the other side, the bottom right corner of the shelf contains materials on ganguly ,the childhood hero(sensing the frown on the readers face). There is a poster of Shah rukh on the wall, never been an SRK fan, still the poster has been there for years as the remembrance of a friend. The ‘Balarama ‘ sticker on the switch board downstairs brings memories from the good old childhood days. This is the place where I have been living for the past 15 years. My home, sweet home. There is no place equivalent to it in the whole universe. The place is so familiar that i can walk around with my eyes closed. But all good things must come to an end. Saw these lines somewhere “Change is the essence of life .Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” And its time to surrender. There wont be anymore of star-gazing..all the way staring at the open text book in my room, lying on the couch downstairs..watching tv and falling asleep, taking the keyboard to the bed behind when I feel lazy even to sit, watching the rain from the balcony and running inside when it thunders, climbing the steep stairs to the terrace, eavesdropping on the once in a while chat between amma and susan aunty, going to swapachi’s place to have a little chit chat, returning back because there was a doggy on the way, finally her coming here and picking me up. Gonna miss all those. Gonna miss the doggy who wags its tail even when I run back home seeing it. But its time to kiss everything goodbye and so I am…

ENLIGHTENED!

2006-08-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is quite different from my usual blogs. ie, not writing for the sake of it or due to friends pressurizing to update or bcoz I think its really long since I posted. My first blog entry which is written on an impulse. The first time I switched on the pc and doing something else before logging in the messenger!
Let me update you on whts happening around. My latest featherbrained concern’s my face. It’s about 2 months since the “tragedy” began! Not gonna babble about those days in detail. In short I’m having some acne problems on my cheek and i am down with all the queries I am getting. People still utter stuff like..hey..you’ve got some problem on your cheek(Yeah,like I dunno…after sittin gloomy about it for 2 months). I had to explain it to a double dozen people and the worst part is I dint even know the cause. Nowadays I just shrug when someone starts asking about it. I am not much of a beauty conscious person..but even strangers started to enquire and their sympathetic stares and condolements made me uncomfortable.Thus I have been sulking about my face for a long time now, keeping my long face even longer. And my stupid friends, instead of giving a whack on my head,were consoling me. Today was no different either. Classes got over at 4 and its quite a walk to the bus stop. Waited till 4 50 for the bus. The usually empty bus was congested today. Cursing myself, whining about how my life sucked, covered in sweat I stood there hoping that the sitting people would get off on the next stop. I was staring at the girl in the seat, envying her cheeks, sulking about mine…asking inside Why God? Why me? She was pleasant and smiled when I sat near her. The girl standing next to me was talking to her. I sensed something weird about their conversation as the girl near me was only mouthing the words. And then seeing her use the sign language I realised that she cant talk. I suddenly felt guilty and uncomfortable. I was ashamed of myself, realized how silly I was acting. I felt sorry for the girl, but realized that she doesn’t need my sympathy. I really wished she would talk one day. Thus here I am today, first sad , then frustrated, then pissed and finally enlightened!
This isn’t a unique incident which cleared my vision. Somedays ago my ma was ill and some crucial tests were done to diagnose the disease. That was one time I realized what the actual worries in life were. The day I knew about it ,I prayed like I’ve never prayed.I realized that nothing matters to me more than her..my life ,my comforts ,my career…NOTHING! Thanks to the Almighty she is safe now. But such incidents helps us to appreciate what we have and to realize how much of a valuable position others occupy in our life.

Posting for the sake of posting!

2006-08-13T03:34:00.000-07:00

Series exams this week and so im back to blogging..was watching Swades with CHD notebook on my lap, have seen the movie before in theatre..still it’s the days before the xam afterall…had only DD earlier and I get soo desperate the days before the xams that I used to watch even shaktimaan before my 10th public xam..sigh.
But this is one of the movies I liked. Yeah,I agree that it wasn’t a major hit. Mainly because Ashutosh Gawarikar after Lagaan +SRK, the hype generated was huge! It wasn’t a complete commercial movie …but I would sit through this one a 100 times rather than watch Veer Zara once more. I was dumbfounded when they gave the best actor award to SRK for Veer Zara over Swades. Cmeon, this was one movie where he dint seem like he’s suffering from parkinson’s disease. The movie is too realistic. I was surprised to find out that there are still villages where there is no electricity in India,when I first saw the movie. And was moved by a scene in which a boy sells water for 25 ps. in the railway station. Why do people prefer lovey-dovey stuff over such materiality? k3g is going on in another channel-8-..to tell u the truth ,the only thing I am interested in these type is the costumes and watching the luxorious ambience maybe. The movie(Swades) did better in south I guess. ARR’s music is marvelous (as usual). A review for the movie isn’t what I intended to write..but ended up like this. Maybe I would add a picture too. Back to my “studies”then..Adieu.

T.A.G - Part I

2006-07-07T07:08:00.000-07:00

I am no different from anyone who did this tag before-as bored as ever. So all the bored ones in the world,come read this and enlighten your lives by knowing when i yawned last time or blinked my eyes. Going straight to the questionnaire as my fans are awaiting:D

1. Grab the book nearest to you turn to page 18 and find line 4
When India became independent,it was divided into India and Pakistan.
..................from sister's textbook:D.

2. Stretch your arm out as far as possible
.....Done.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Took a glance at the TV while i was having tea. Amooma was watching some mega serial in DD.Thaloolam...or was it saagaram:-?

4. Without looking guess what time it is:
6 pm :-?

5. Now look at the time, what is the actual time?
5.44 pm

6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear?
'Yeh taara woh taara' and some prayer song is playing on the temple near by:)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Went to swapna chechi's home earlier and spend the afternoon there.

8. Before this survey what did you look at?
The blogger boy's blog:)

9. What are you wearing?
A black n violet mixed salwar kameez.

damn...power went ....would continue after a break!
&**&^%..i cant even copy this thing to save. Thank god..CTRL+ C worked.

Guess who's back after having hot samosa's and a candle light bath ;;) (ya, freebird was right..a bath once in a while feels good). So back to business.

10. Did you dream last night?
Seldom do i remember my dreams. I do day dream 24*7 though!

11. When did you last laugh?
I think i did at swapna chechi's today:-?...else laughed a lot yesterday, watching superman and during the lunch with my friends.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint would do???

13. Seen anything weird lately?
I saw Anand yesterday.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Nice for killing time.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Philadeliphia....nice one:)

16. If you became a multimillionaire what would you buy?
*thinking*.....*still thinking*.....damn..i'm sooo ambitionless...I dont have anything to do with a million...well..had plans to go shopping with my friends...wudve liked to have some 200 bucks for that.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
Hmmmm...cant find anything...my life is an open book.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would wanna invent time machine

19. Do you like to dance?
When there's none around,yeah i do:D

20. George Bush.
No comments.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you call her?
I like the name 'Nandini' much..I know its quite old fashioned and no,its not a cows name X-(...though I havent decided yet...afterall its my baby's name...have to consider all sides

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
I had thought that i would let'him' name if its a boy....now that you ask me, I would like the name 'Nikhil'. And i wanted a gal ,though every horoscope kinda thing tells me that i would have 2 boys:((

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Maybe for some time.Not settling there.

24. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
That i get the power to go and visit my beloved ones back in the earth and be with them,invisible maybe.

Now i get to tag all my tag hater friends...beginning with rj(:D),ken,sk,devi,priya.

Adios Teens

2006-07-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

Guess who’s getting outta teens and stepping into womanhood. Yeah, you got it right. I turned 20 today. Happy birthday to me!!! Was just taking a backward glance, on my past b’days. Wondering about the changes that occurred in my attitude towards the birthday. Was always excited about the birthday in my childhood(evry kid is..i know:D). when I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to get older and be the role model for younger cousins. You know how the li’l kids look upon their big bro’s n sis with great admiration and follow them everywhere around..i always used to do tht and wanted to grow fast to be on the other side n play the ‘jaada’ elder one. Similar was the case with my teenage as well. Wanted to become ‘sweet seventeen’ from the beginning of the teens itself. But a major part of my teens went uneventful. Not that the left part was blooming with love or something. But then the latter part was blessed with the jubilance of friendship. Think I’ve been quite lucky there. The friends I had were always pretty close ones.
Unlike other birthdays, I’m numb towards this one. Thts coz the pros and cons cancel each other. I am getting outta my teens. The end of another phase in my life. Looking back I wonder if I enjoyed it to the fullest. Ofcourse the answer is no. But then those days would never come back. I’m becoming 20 and remember one of my friends saying that it’s a mile stone in a gal’s life. Now that I think about it , it might be true. It wont be long before that I would’ve to leave this place and my beloved ones and go live in an ambience where everything would be alien to me. Where I wont be able to sleep till sun strikes my face, stay infront of the pc until sun rises, grab whatever eatables you can find and go lie in the couch watching t v, come up with weird ideas of spending( to be read as wasting) time and many more. Some of you might be having the opinion that there wont be much difference after marriage as well. I don’t agree. I am not claiming that the in-laws would be the cruel ones like you see in mega serials. But still none wont be the same as your ma. The other day I had an argument with ma over the topic that ‘shadi ke baad beti parayi ho jaati hai’. And I was soo surprised and pained to learn that she agreed to that statement. I had always thought that whatever comes in life, we would always be their babies. But was shocked to know that by marriage what they mean is that I am losing my place in my family,where I always belonged and lived for some quarter century. She was like you can visit anytime you want and all. But still..that’s not what I want. Sighhh . anyway I am not becoming much sentimental. For better or worse I turned twenty today. And I cant help it either,as time and tide doesn’t wait for me either…
P.S: my bday was 2 days ago. We were having candlelight celebrations everywhere as there was no power supply for the whole town for almost 2 days and hence the delay in posting.

Forbidden fruit tastes more!!!

2006-06-18T03:11:00.000-07:00

Now that the exams are over,I am jobless here. Not that while I was having exams I was studying 24*7. But life was soo cool then. I had something to look forward to. This was one exam where I dint find myself yelling..I HATE EXAMS,every night before the exam. But isn’t it amazing that the things you give the least important otherwise, seems so appealing and inviting on those exam days. Like I never had much contact with the tv,since I got the net connection. But the day before my co (one of the most vast subject ive got) exam,I wanted to watch the bakra soo badly. When I was finished with that,then came this really cheesy show and I couldn’t help but watch it. I then concluded that I wasn’t giving tv enough time and that I am craving for those tv shows and even maybe the soap operas and decided to spend a whole lot of time in front of the tv after the exams. And believe me,I did try to sit and watch tv. But I cant find one interesting thing there. But then why blame the poor channels..i cant find one interesting thing in this whole world!!! It’s only the second day of the vaccation and the word BOREDOM has found a whole new meaning. I have tried everything possible..books,net tv,friends..nothing is working! During the exams we never had to search for a topic to talk about…it was a flow. But now feels like there is nothing to talk about. Life is so damn empty and I have got a month more to spend. If I cant even take a month of vacation, then it horrifies to think what I am gonna do after 2 years, after the end of my academic days. Hope I would somehow adapt to the situation. I know exactly that after this one month passes away, I would be dying to get these days back. But I cant help feeling this way. Life’s soo dull :((. I am gonna try out things like visiting some friends place(yeah, they are the one who is gonna suffer...khi khi),going to some movies and stuff…hope it will work or just lookout for the news of this 19 year old angelic charming delicate mademoiselle dying out of extreme boredom and world weariness..sigh!!!
P.S: I had written this post few days back and something came up and dint post then,but the best part is that i 'm still alive..hip hip hurraaayyy!!!

Back in the Summer of '04...

2006-04-27T03:16:00.000-07:00

Was listening to the bryan adams song and it suddenly gave me something to blog about.
Me and some gals from school
Had a group and we never tried hard
I did quit and some got married
I always knew we’d never get far
Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever(Pheww..)
And if I had the choice
Na - I’d never wanna be there
Those were the worst days of my life !!!
Well..it’s the summer of ‘04 that I am talking about. My +2 days ,which still is a nightmare to me. I was an above average student in my school,atleast in 10th. Something must’ve happened ( I don’t remember what or else I wudve tried tht again) and I got good marks. Then I took this science group for +2 in a government school and joined quite a no of tuition classes. The 1st year seemed to go quite smoothly. The hard knocks came in my +2.After getting my +2 tuition schedule on my mind, by hearting the periodic table was no big deal. My Saturdays in that year went like this.
5 30-7 25 maths
7 30-9 chemistry(since the sirs knew each other ,the second sir was lineant to us and we just needed to get there by 7 35 and so we could have the breakfasts during that time too)
9-2 school
3-5 30 maths
you mustve noticed that there is 2 maths in this and must be wondering why…well..now u ask,I too wonder why. I don’t think I thought about it then..practically ran to each of the classes and sat there mechanically,scribbled down whatever was on the board. By the time a class would be ending, the dads of the students waiting outside would be ready with their foot on the kicker ,ready for the bike race whose finishing point is the next class . seeing the crowd outside the sirs home once an old woman asked my friend ‘who’s the one that died?’. But in my case mostly the transportation was on my own. So I got this tremendous opportunities to have breakfast, lunch and even dinner in auto rickshaws. Waking up early morning..there wasn’t anuthing else that I hated more. For classes at 530,I would wake up at 5 25,take my so called scooter and rush to the class. I would be so sleepy on the way…I even remember losing my shoe on the road and going back to get it. The classes were so packed which reminded me who was already a little bit claustrophobic of the wagon tragedy. The sir used to speak through this mike which added to this theatre effect. Since I believe in this ‘matha pitha gurur daivam’ policy, I am not going into the details of this sir. The school was the funny part..used to visit that institution once or twice in a week(and I know that’s not a credit). But the classes there were even funnier..we had teachers telling us that there are 2 kinds of planets ,artificial planets and natural planets. But there were very few of them,who were sincere in their profession and who gained our respect,like my maths and English teachers. I had friends who had to give more than 5 medical certificates(due to the lack of attendance) to write the public exam.
I remember not staying at home any of those weekends and how I had to beg for a leave at the tuition classes even for my grandfathers death. I used to get home at around 8 30,my poor dad used to wait infront of the classes from the evening itself. Getting home at 8 30,leaving at 5 next morning, u cant blame me for not studying a thing. I don’t remember being home that whole year. All I did at home was..sleep,sleep and sleep. That is one year I dint touch the books ,my worst year in my whole academic life. And I was hopeless in the exams too. But the thing is that I never felt repentance. Even now after each sems exam I always think..’i wish I had studied better during the study leave’. But I never ever felt that way about my +2. if I felt sorry for someone that was for my parents. I am sorry that I dint raise upto their expectations. Even now when I hear someone is in 12th,I suddenly feel sympathetic towards them. I am just happy that those days are outta mu life and that they wont come back everrrrr… and hats off to those people who survived these situations and gained great results!!!
P.S: Nothing is that bad. Even then I had things that I liked about my life. I think this post got too lengthy ,so ill write about them some other time.

Once upon a time...

2006-04-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

there lived a poor mute jester in siberia.one day while he was sleeping ,his pet mouse bit him..and he died of plague..and he took this reincarnation to kill the mouse.guess who is that!!!.dont wrry pal..i havent gone crazy yet.I was just reading my friends blog and decided to try what she tried . And lol...look what it turned out to be.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Mute Jester.

Where You Lived: Siberia.

How You Died: The Plague.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Ma-the bank where i deposit all my hurts and worries.

2006-04-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

That is the exact description for me. Well ..she is right there on the next room shouting at me on how I live inside the pc these days. When I thought about blogging about her,so many things came into mind to write about. But now I cant put the feeling clearly into words. Still I’ll try my best to tell you what she means to me. We all love our mothers..no big deal! I have always had problems expressing my feelings for others. This is just one way of representing my love for her,what she means to me…(in case she reads…amma ,don’t worry I am not gonna ask for a raise in the pocket money:D).
Mine is a working mother. And she stays outta town these days. As she is a bank employee, she never got much holidays. I still remember well, how I loved the days..i still love, when I return from school she would be home. But I can count the no: of such days on my fingers:( . When she was here,everyday I would have a 2 hour chat with her about what all happened in my life that day. She would be damn bored hearing the same things daily. Still she listened. Well ..ours isn’t exactly the filmi ma-beti relation where they are the best friends..still I can tell proudly that I never had a secret from my mom. I never have been pampered much…never remember her kissing or caressing me,even when I was a child. But guess that’s one of the things about being the first child. And maybe that’s why I grew up into this unromantic gal who never can express her love for people( as some of my friends term me). She wouldn’t sit with me with concerned eyes if I have a silly headache. Earlier I used to get sad about these things ,comparing with my friends’s parents and all. But now I am happy that I can manage myself during times of teeny weeny illness or difficulties . She has had harder experiences in life which made her not much of a sentimental woman…a bold one,I would call her. Still she has always been there for me…to listen to my silliest of my problems, and as she waves it off and makes faces at me about how I wasted her time on such a silly issue, all my worries just melt away. Its almost a daily habit these days..to pester her with the most silliest issues you can ever imagine. She would be concerned if she thinks I got really hurt over anything..i remember such times and I was really touched on how she remembered those issues which hurt me ,even after I forgot them.Now she comes home during weekends , the 2 days when my tounge moves faster than a Hayabusa. And don’t think that she listens attentively. She watches tv,cooks,does other household chores , all during the same time and smiles at me and tells me to get myself a cup of water...sigh.
If I ever liked a movie, I would do anything to make her watch it..but she always used to doze off during the first half itself. I would explain to her things from ‘how sourav got chucked outta the team due to backstage plays ‘ to ‘how this new pair evolved in our class’.
She has always been the right person for me to open upto…never felt like..’I wish I hadn’t told her that’ ever. Thanx ma,for being there,for everything. I hope I would be to my children, what you are to me.

Sooo much for..'The End'

2006-04-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Guys..cheer up..i am back…long time since I blogged..have been thinking about it…but u can never ever imagine how lazy I can get(nope yaar,u cant)and made up the excuse of lack of topix..i know its my page and I can even write about how peaceful a sleep I had this noon. So thot of boring you again.
2 days before..
I was watching tv…yeah..since I got the net,I haven’t been much into tv..and was surfing through the channels and the star parivaar came up…and guess what guys…I actually did see an ‘ENDING’ episode of one of those ektha soap opera’s …and I remember seeing the same things first episode too..this is a real once in a life time opportunity…thought my great grand children’s would get to see the last episode..and don’t get the misconception that I am a fan of the soaps..the only thing I notice sometimes is the costumes,or ‘accessories’ as one of my friends term it…and the names are soo damn funny..kehta hai dil kyu hota hai pyaar, kyu chalti hai hawa,kyu hota hai dadkan,kuch tho hai, koi hai…. Kkkkkkk… gimme a break!!!
Well..i was in 10th when this one started…u cant blame me .. even shaktiman seemed appealing during the sslc xams.. I will describe to u wht I saw in this soap here and there during channel swapping in 4 years
Stage 1- This Sarvagunasambana Sarvamsaha heroine (let us call her X),gets married to Y..and there is a damn big family of Y in which the only one I rem is Z, Y’s younger brother who considers X as mom or even more...and thus she remains the ideal bahu…then there comes the villainess which is my mom who cuts the cable as she thought I am not using it at all.
Stage 2-( after a lot of crying and stamping my foot,I get the conn back)Y is dead and the mourning X(fcrse she is pregnant ,as usual) appears in this white saree(no color costumes ..so switched channels)
Stage 3-X and Z,the kaliyug laxman are happily married(me :O:O:O…where the hell is the remot???)
Stage 4-A new character who is identical to X exists in sme village(X’) and X and X’
gets interchanged somehow….phewwww
Stage 5-X’ dies and everyone thinks it was X who died and total chaos…and finally X proves that she is X by DNA test (kill meeeeeee)
Stage 6-X is having brain tumor(yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…I had springs attached on my legs at the thought of getting rid of X finally)
Stage 7-(which was the day before yesterday)X and Y having twins(she seems to have transplanted her brain…or as it is an ektha soap..it is also possible that the tumor disappeared just by praying) and they lived happily ever after(showing Kodak moments as usual)
This is the summary I got from the 10-15 episodes I have seen,(fcrse..all the while throughout the 4 yrs there were a whole lots of villains and villainess who has their own background music and who just finds bliss in destroying X’s peace of mind)and I am finally happy that it ended.
And guess what I saw the first thing switching on the TV today?..The sequel is coming..with X and Y and their 3 children(all 5of them seems to be of the same age).’K’ queen Ki Kahaniyaa Kabhi Khatham Nahii Hothiiii…..

Yuck...

2006-03-06T05:27:00.000-08:00

As I am having series xam tomorrow,none is online , I am damn bored and have got nothing else to do,I decided to do this tag I got from meenu. I just have to describe 10 things I hate, which is better than the last tag. So my ‘yuck’ list goes like this..
1.First of all I too hate those bad things that everyone else hates, like the antisocial elements and stuff…I am not going into details..rather write what probably me alone hates.
2.I hate Mandira Bedi’s commentary( u don’t ?…watch the session of that xtra innings regarding the duckworth lewis rule and u’ll join Mandira hate club)
3.I hate any dish made of prawn(even the thought makes me go yucccckkkkk..)
4.I hate kareena’s acting( go watch ‘khushi’ and u will know it)
5.I hate to see sourav jobless these days( enufffffff…u shudnt swear at a gal like that). But once I was a big fan of that guy and even though things change ,sometimes the fossils remain.
6.Hmmmm(not as easy as I thought..10 is a big no. )…I don’t like jassi gift’s music ..well..4 the people was ok..but the rest sucks...and i cant stand hard metal.
7.I hate civil and electronics(but the best part is that I don’t have to study the former anymore and hope the same for the latter)
8.I hate it when I get possessive( coz I cant reveal that to anyone as I myself don’t wanna be possessive and that suffocates me)
9.I hate ostentatious people and the really snoopy ones who are like the gossip column in the newspapers (1 more to go..)
10.I hate it when guys swear for no reason( just don’t think its cooool…)
Now I tag anand (seems like his blog will conatin only tags), arun and deniminoo(can see my name at the top of their list..sighhh)

U must die in one life, before u can enter another

2006-02-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

Changes…I hated them…to be precise still hate them. I felt sick whenever I had to join a new college or a new skool ,meeting strangers wasn’t my idea of a perfect pastime. To tell u the truth ,that is a part which scares me when I think about marriage too. The thought of uprooting scares me. Going to a complete different environment…mannnn,this is one time I envy boys..sighhhh. But I guess its just the matter of starting trouble, once I am comfortable with someone,I take every measure to maintain the smooth relation . But lately,I have noticed that some changes aren’t that bad either…some which u don’t notice at first. Let me make it more clear.
flashback…
4 years ago…a classroom in school…in this corner,last bench last one ,there she sits a meek,hesitant,inhibitive girl,aloof from others.She is so quiet…none talks to her much..neither does she…she actually wanna…but cant make herself do it. Going and asking someone ‘can I sit with u’ seems like a herculian task before her.. she feels that others wouldn’t want her around, that she is intruding their privacy…so she lives as a shelled animal(if u still dont get it, dumboo.. its ‘me’).
Now..
Classroom in college…still the last bench last one,there I am…trying to write ‘kick me’ on my front bencher friend’s back…
This is the change I mentioned…I am not claiming that I am a popular or smarrrt gal in the college, but this is a real change for me…maybe none else will understand or notice it xcept me.. I had friends from skool who were just classmates when we were in skool and later we grew closer and I had to answer many queries like..’which class were u in wen we were in skool?’(I sat behind u ..@&%$@) and ‘hey, u shud ve come for the tour in 10th..it wudve been fun..really missed u’( I too came for the tour my pal, u really ‘missed’ me…sighhh). In the college too, I was no better in the first year..had only 3 or 4 friends . But now I maintain a healthy relation with a very good ratio of the class. I don’t remember exactly when the changes started..but if u consider it day by day nothing seems to change. I remember that I started talking to the boys in the class at the beginning of the second year(courtesy: YAHOO MESSENGER). Now I have a ring of friends and I am extremely proud and happy that I share a pleasant bond with them. Each of them is special to me in their own ways.Soo changes is what I was talking about…and I will be facing an uprooting sooon ( no yaar…its not wht u r thinking, I am only 19 for heavens sake). I will be shifting home.. spend my last 14 years here..so kinda have the emotional attachment:(, but now I have learnt not to keep a prejudiced approach about anything..maybe its all for the best. So now me too started agreeing …changes maynot be as bad as u think they are.. but it’s the way u welcome them that matters.

How dumb r u???

2006-02-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

It was this friend of mine who asked me to stop using a diary and blog my daily things… But I thought I would have to copy paste each day the same things..it wudve been smething like...
while(j!=s8)
{
woke up at -- --( yeah guys…the word early would be an
understatement 4 me);
went to skool..oops college( wud rather not insult skool);
slept, daydreamed, did( copied in dis context) the ‘hme’wrk of every hr
in the preceeding hr,tried diffr hairdo’s on the front benchers ;
back to home;
infrnt of d pc;
sleep;
}
(having c lab xams day aftr 2moro…the aftereffects of studying so hard may reflect on even my blogs..:D)
so I dropped the idea of writing about me there.. it was just this Sunday that smething different happened in my life…I always had the feeling…but never knew tht upto what extend it is true…this friend of mine…talked to me till late in the night…and hours later I realized tht my feelings were nothing but mere truth…that I am the dumbest creature Almighty has ever created!!!
I am gonna describe to u how can u get ur id skrewed in 5 min…
The following is a part of the conversation that happened between me and my friend….

My pal: ur bday on ---- - rite??
Me : yaa….y? ( shudve smelt smething there itself…as he just hit a quarter
century in asking my bday)
My pal: simply
Me : gifts r always welcome
My pal: ya ya…jst keep waitin
My pal: and send me ur zip code…. so i can send gifts
Me : ------ ( my senses completely clouded by d sight of dis gift waiting 4 me –dumb instance 1)
My pal: u knw wat
My pal: i hav always been fascinated by batman
My pal: last day i drew da bat logo on da table
My pal: and devi came and asked me if it was pahntom's
My pal: my hero…she killed him (ohh god ..he’s really gud at this..i had no idea wht he's upto)
My pal: u must've been harry potter fan frm child hood
Me : no...d 1st book released only wen i was in 9 th or so
My pal: so who was bfor dat….shaktiman?
Me : archies….but hes a big flirt.
My pal: betty??
Me : yaa..i like betty….similar to me
My pal: so betty ur childhood hero? ( here at this point I did wonder y he is hellbent on knwing my childhood hero…even I din hav a perfect idea who it was)
Me : naaaa…..i liked ------ quite ( don wanna publish it in the net…the answer is already famous by now…sighhhh)
and at this point my friend suddenly gets sleepy and he goes to sleep promising me a cute surprise next day…and I too hit the covers dreaming about the ‘pleasant’ surprise I am going to get .
The next day evening I try to get online as usual and get sign in problems…and it hit me…every piece of the riddle fell into its place…he just had to click the ‘4got passwrd’..I was angry or sad at myself or him..anyway will describe the behind the scenes play later sometime as I am not too sure about the responses.. it was that I dint remember my secret question ( ie..until this Monday…thanx to my pal ,will never 4get that nymore :D) as I created the id some 6 or so years ago…( these r all just the cover up’s for my dumbness , that I found out after hard researches).
Moral of the blog :
Don’t give stupid questions and stupid answers ( like what vehicle u have…maruti) and behave stupidly like this . Every friend may not be as trustworthy as mine :) !!!

The Take off

2006-01-27T00:33:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone...or anyone who happens to read this.
I am this typical average keralite girl who is now as confused and nervous as any ' first time blogger ' could be ( or even more ).So i guess i neednt repeat their words. You would be bored reading that ' i dunno what to write ' stuff once more.I have'nt gone through many blogs , except that of my friends and sayesha's ( which i really admired ),but i plan to.The idea of blogging never occured to me, until each and everyone of my friend's started it and it took my last ounce of confidence and gutts to take this small step ( you must have guessed that i am not at all inhibitive and shy :D ). It's all my friends persuasion behind this, I am a person who is greatly influenced by friends.Thanks to swapaachi,meenu,prav's and ash for their support ( so i guess i should be broadminded enough to share the credits, for any appreciation from anyone...I am always here and if u feel like slapping the blogger's face for wasting your time..I would surely introduce you to my friends ..:D). Frankly speaking, I welcome the criticisms more than appreciations ( mostly the friends appreciate just bcoz of the obligation...and i dont want my friends to do that...you can evaluate me as any stranger can ). I would really appreciate constructive criticisms as i am a person who believes in personal improvement till demise. I guess i am blabbering too much and you might be thinking that i am crazy ( I still cant believe i am doing this ). So I better control my motormouth. With the hope that I will blog again, stopping now

U cant change the direction of the wind...But u sure can adjust ur sails

2006-01-25T18:50:00.002-08:00

I never thought I would write this soon again. The day before yesterday was republic day and I went to see the rakeysh om prakash mehra’s 'Rang de Basanti' with my friends…being in the theatre before the show began,I felt like being in my college meet bcoz a very good ratio of my college was there . I went for the first day first show for the first time and was amused to find the bouncy crowd . After seeing ‘Mangal Pandey’ ,I had decided not to keep high expectations of anything…not that I dint like the movie…but the hype generated was high. Aamir khan’s movie releasing after almost 3 years and that too after ‘The Lagaan’ and 'DCH'..may be I was just eccentric..i liked the movie..but wasn’t upto my expectations( just coz my expectations were too high). So I was apprehensive about ‘rang de’. But the movie just rocked . The theme of a generation awakening is shown in a fabulous way. The theme reminded me of the ‘mallu ‘ blockbuster ‘4 the people’( which would have been great with better dubbing ). But I couldn’t find anything out of place for RDB . The camera work is commendable too. At the beginning of the movie,I had the same attitude as that of the characters in the movie and by the end of the movie , I was surprised to find that my opinions too changed. The first half of the movie is humorous and the second half makes us think ( and made some of my friends cry :D )…it’s more like a fusion of ‘Dil chahta hai’ and ‘Mangal Pandey’. All other characters are given as importance as Aamir. Hats off to A R Rahman’s music..I just loved 'paathshala' and the proposalwaali calm song . So if u are planning to go for the movie…don’t hesitate… and get ready for goose bumps.

Tu,Tu Hain Kahaan???

2006-01-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

Well..i have been tagged for quite a long time now… but I still cudnt get a perfect picture of my dream lover…I hav been tagged by praveen and he has given permission to curse him as well…so prav’sss…Aveda Kadavra or I would rather use an imperius curse on u and make u ..hmmm…mayb walk on ur nose...hows tht????..srry ..bad joke.
Now let me get serious and let me tell you ki mere ‘woh’ kaise hone chaahiyee…
Talking about looks…I don’t care much…though he could do with a little height…not asking for a 6 ft man.. still…he should be at least as tall as I am and having an impressing personality would help too.
I would be happy if he doesn’t have any habits like drinking or smoking..especially smoking.( but I guess if I insist on such demands…shaayad mein kuwaari hii mar jaavoongii :()
He should have perfect faith in me and he should be broadminded.
He should be trustworthy.. normally I trust people. But I guess if I lose it for once its gone forever.
And I want my better half to be my companion in my happiness and in my hardship( I knw its understood…neednt even mention it). Maybe the word soul mate would describe it better. There shudnt be anything obscure between us. That is a must.
I can even stand an unromantic guy. I wouldn’t ask for ‘public’ displays of affection and I wouldnt want him to give me more priority than his mom( not that he should be one of the mama’s boys).. still I want him to love his family as well as respect mine.
He should give respect to my opinions…should not be a mcp.
I expect him to wear the trousers( don’t take the literal meaning.. :D) in the family, he shud b responsible and intelligent as two irresponsible dumb morons wont be able to lead a successful life.
I am supposed to give 8 points ..still I don’t mind him having more of them like gr8 humor sense , conversational skills, cooking abilities(he wont be needing that as I am a master chef myself…I would serve him my masterpiece daily which is boiled water),ability to behave well accrding to the situations…..and the list goes on..
Phhewww…par aise mundiyee tho filmon mein bhi nahin hotheee…:(. And the bottom line is…’adaptation is the basis of life’ my dear friends.
So that sums it up…
And now I am tagging Anand and Arun
P.S: Don’t tell me that after reading this that u feel like u have got it all :D ..then pleasee..join the queue:D