ENLIGHTENED!

This is quite different from my usual blogs. ie, not writing for the sake of it or due to friends pressurizing to update or bcoz I think its really long since I posted. My first blog entry which is written on an impulse. The first time I switched on the pc and doing something else before logging in the messenger!
Let me update you on whts happening around. My latest featherbrained concern’s my face. It’s about 2 months since the “tragedy” began! Not gonna babble about those days in detail. In short I’m having some acne problems on my cheek and i am down with all the queries I am getting. People still utter stuff like..hey..you’ve got some problem on your cheek(Yeah,like I dunno…after sittin gloomy about it for 2 months). I had to explain it to a double dozen people and the worst part is I dint even know the cause. Nowadays I just shrug when someone starts asking about it. I am not much of a beauty conscious person..but even strangers started to enquire and their sympathetic stares and condolements made me uncomfortable.Thus I have been sulking about my face for a long time now, keeping my long face even longer. And my stupid friends, instead of giving a whack on my head,were consoling me. Today was no different either. Classes got over at 4 and its quite a walk to the bus stop. Waited till 4 50 for the bus. The usually empty bus was congested today. Cursing myself, whining about how my life sucked, covered in sweat I stood there hoping that the sitting people would get off on the next stop. I was staring at the girl in the seat, envying her cheeks, sulking about mine…asking inside Why God? Why me? She was pleasant and smiled when I sat near her. The girl standing next to me was talking to her. I sensed something weird about their conversation as the girl near me was only mouthing the words. And then seeing her use the sign language I realised that she cant talk. I suddenly felt guilty and uncomfortable. I was ashamed of myself, realized how silly I was acting. I felt sorry for the girl, but realized that she doesn’t need my sympathy. I really wished she would talk one day. Thus here I am today, first sad , then frustrated, then pissed and finally enlightened!
This isn’t a unique incident which cleared my vision. Somedays ago my ma was ill and some crucial tests were done to diagnose the disease. That was one time I realized what the actual worries in life were. The day I knew about it ,I prayed like I’ve never prayed.I realized that nothing matters to me more than her..my life ,my comforts ,my career…NOTHING! Thanks to the Almighty she is safe now. But such incidents helps us to appreciate what we have and to realize how much of a valuable position others occupy in our life.

Posting for the sake of posting!

Series exams this week and so im back to blogging..was watching Swades with CHD notebook on my lap, have seen the movie before in theatre..still it’s the days before the xam afterall…had only DD earlier and I get soo desperate the days before the xams that I used to watch even shaktimaan before my 10th public xam..sigh.
But this is one of the movies I liked. Yeah,I agree that it wasn’t a major hit. Mainly because Ashutosh Gawarikar after Lagaan +SRK, the hype generated was huge! It wasn’t a complete commercial movie …but I would sit through this one a 100 times rather than watch Veer Zara once more. I was dumbfounded when they gave the best actor award to SRK for Veer Zara over Swades. Cmeon, this was one movie where he dint seem like he’s suffering from parkinson’s disease. The movie is too realistic. I was surprised to find out that there are still villages where there is no electricity in India,when I first saw the movie. And was moved by a scene in which a boy sells water for 25 ps. in the railway station. Why do people prefer lovey-dovey stuff over such materiality? k3g is going on in another channel-8-..to tell u the truth ,the only thing I am interested in these type is the costumes and watching the luxorious ambience maybe. The movie(Swades) did better in south I guess. ARR’s music is marvelous (as usual). A review for the movie isn’t what I intended to write..but ended up like this. Maybe I would add a picture too. Back to my “studies”then..Adieu.

T.A.G - Part I

I am no different from anyone who did this tag before-as bored as ever. So all the bored ones in the world,come read this and enlighten your lives by knowing when i yawned last time or blinked my eyes. Going straight to the questionnaire as my fans are awaiting:D

1. Grab the book nearest to you turn to page 18 and find line 4
When India became independent,it was divided into India and Pakistan.
..................from sister's textbook:D.

2. Stretch your arm out as far as possible
.....Done.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Took a glance at the TV while i was having tea. Amooma was watching some mega serial in DD.Thaloolam...or was it saagaram:-?

4. Without looking guess what time it is:
6 pm :-?

5. Now look at the time, what is the actual time?
5.44 pm

6. With the exception of the computer what can you hear?
'Yeh taara woh taara' and some prayer song is playing on the temple near by:)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Went to swapna chechi's home earlier and spend the afternoon there.

8. Before this survey what did you look at?
The blogger boy's blog:)

9. What are you wearing?
A black n violet mixed salwar kameez.

damn...power went ....would continue after a break!
&**&^%..i cant even copy this thing to save. Thank god..CTRL+ C worked.

Guess who's back after having hot samosa's and a candle light bath ;;) (ya, freebird was right..a bath once in a while feels good). So back to business.

10. Did you dream last night?
Seldom do i remember my dreams. I do day dream 24*7 though!


11. When did you last laugh?
I think i did at swapna chechi's today:-?...else laughed a lot yesterday, watching superman and during the lunch with my friends.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint would do???


13. Seen anything weird lately?
I saw Anand yesterday.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Nice for killing time.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Philadeliphia....nice one:)

16. If you became a multimillionaire what would you buy?
*thinking*.....*still thinking*.....damn..i'm sooo ambitionless...I dont have anything to do with a million...well..had plans to go shopping with my friends...wudve liked to have some 200 bucks for that.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
Hmmmm...cant find anything...my life is an open book.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would wanna invent time machine

19. Do you like to dance?
When there's none around,yeah i do:D

20. George Bush.
No comments.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what would you call her?
I like the name 'Nandini' much..I know its quite old fashioned and no,its not a cows name X-(...though I havent decided yet...afterall its my baby's name...have to consider all sides

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what would you call him?
I had thought that i would let'him' name if its a boy....now that you ask me, I would like the name 'Nikhil'. And i wanted a gal ,though every horoscope kinda thing tells me that i would have 2 boys:((


23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Maybe for some time.Not settling there.

24. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
That i get the power to go and visit my beloved ones back in the earth and be with them,invisible maybe.

Now i get to tag all my tag hater friends...beginning with rj(:D),ken,sk,devi,priya.

Adios Teens

Guess who’s getting outta teens and stepping into womanhood. Yeah, you got it right. I turned 20 today. Happy birthday to me!!! Was just taking a backward glance, on my past b’days. Wondering about the changes that occurred in my attitude towards the birthday. Was always excited about the birthday in my childhood(evry kid is..i know:D). when I was a kid, I’ve always wanted to get older and be the role model for younger cousins. You know how the li’l kids look upon their big bro’s n sis with great admiration and follow them everywhere around..i always used to do tht and wanted to grow fast to be on the other side n play the ‘jaada’ elder one. Similar was the case with my teenage as well. Wanted to become ‘sweet seventeen’ from the beginning of the teens itself. But a major part of my teens went uneventful. Not that the left part was blooming with love or something. But then the latter part was blessed with the jubilance of friendship. Think I’ve been quite lucky there. The friends I had were always pretty close ones.
Unlike other birthdays, I’m numb towards this one. Thts coz the pros and cons cancel each other. I am getting outta my teens. The end of another phase in my life. Looking back I wonder if I enjoyed it to the fullest. Ofcourse the answer is no. But then those days would never come back. I’m becoming 20 and remember one of my friends saying that it’s a mile stone in a gal’s life. Now that I think about it , it might be true. It wont be long before that I would’ve to leave this place and my beloved ones and go live in an ambience where everything would be alien to me. Where I wont be able to sleep till sun strikes my face, stay infront of the pc until sun rises, grab whatever eatables you can find and go lie in the couch watching t v, come up with weird ideas of spending( to be read as wasting) time and many more. Some of you might be having the opinion that there wont be much difference after marriage as well. I don’t agree. I am not claiming that the in-laws would be the cruel ones like you see in mega serials. But still none wont be the same as your ma. The other day I had an argument with ma over the topic that ‘shadi ke baad beti parayi ho jaati hai’. And I was soo surprised and pained to learn that she agreed to that statement. I had always thought that whatever comes in life, we would always be their babies. But was shocked to know that by marriage what they mean is that I am losing my place in my family,where I always belonged and lived for some quarter century. She was like you can visit anytime you want and all. But still..that’s not what I want. Sighhh . anyway I am not becoming much sentimental. For better or worse I turned twenty today. And I cant help it either,as time and tide doesn’t wait for me either…
P.S: my bday was 2 days ago. We were having candlelight celebrations everywhere as there was no power supply for the whole town for almost 2 days and hence the delay in posting.

Forbidden fruit tastes more!!!

Now that the exams are over,I am jobless here. Not that while I was having exams I was studying 24*7. But life was soo cool then. I had something to look forward to. This was one exam where I dint find myself yelling..I HATE EXAMS,every night before the exam. But isn’t it amazing that the things you give the least important otherwise, seems so appealing and inviting on those exam days. Like I never had much contact with the tv,since I got the net connection. But the day before my co (one of the most vast subject ive got) exam,I wanted to watch the bakra soo badly. When I was finished with that,then came this really cheesy show and I couldn’t help but watch it. I then concluded that I wasn’t giving tv enough time and that I am craving for those tv shows and even maybe the soap operas and decided to spend a whole lot of time in front of the tv after the exams. And believe me,I did try to sit and watch tv. But I cant find one interesting thing there. But then why blame the poor channels..i cant find one interesting thing in this whole world!!! It’s only the second day of the vaccation and the word BOREDOM has found a whole new meaning. I have tried everything possible..books,net tv,friends..nothing is working! During the exams we never had to search for a topic to talk about…it was a flow. But now feels like there is nothing to talk about. Life is so damn empty and I have got a month more to spend. If I cant even take a month of vacation, then it horrifies to think what I am gonna do after 2 years, after the end of my academic days. Hope I would somehow adapt to the situation. I know exactly that after this one month passes away, I would be dying to get these days back. But I cant help feeling this way. Life’s soo dull :((. I am gonna try out things like visiting some friends place(yeah, they are the one who is gonna suffer...khi khi),going to some movies and stuff…hope it will work or just lookout for the news of this 19 year old angelic charming delicate mademoiselle dying out of extreme boredom and world weariness..sigh!!!
P.S: I had written this post few days back and something came up and dint post then,but the best part is that i 'm still alive..hip hip hurraaayyy!!!

Back in the Summer of '04...

Was listening to the bryan adams song and it suddenly gave me something to blog about.
Me and some gals from school
Had a group and we never tried hard
I did quit and some got married
I always knew we’d never get far
Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever(Pheww..)
And if I had the choice
Na - I’d never wanna be there
Those were the worst days of my life !!!
Well..it’s the summer of ‘04 that I am talking about. My +2 days ,which still is a nightmare to me. I was an above average student in my school,atleast in 10th. Something must’ve happened ( I don’t remember what or else I wudve tried tht again) and I got good marks. Then I took this science group for +2 in a government school and joined quite a no of tuition classes. The 1st year seemed to go quite smoothly. The hard knocks came in my +2.After getting my +2 tuition schedule on my mind, by hearting the periodic table was no big deal. My Saturdays in that year went like this.
5 30-7 25 maths
7 30-9 chemistry(since the sirs knew each other ,the second sir was lineant to us and we just needed to get there by 7 35 and so we could have the breakfasts during that time too)
9-2 school
3-5 30 maths
you mustve noticed that there is 2 maths in this and must be wondering why…well..now u ask,I too wonder why. I don’t think I thought about it then..practically ran to each of the classes and sat there mechanically,scribbled down whatever was on the board. By the time a class would be ending, the dads of the students waiting outside would be ready with their foot on the kicker ,ready for the bike race whose finishing point is the next class . seeing the crowd outside the sirs home once an old woman asked my friend ‘who’s the one that died?’. But in my case mostly the transportation was on my own. So I got this tremendous opportunities to have breakfast, lunch and even dinner in auto rickshaws. Waking up early morning..there wasn’t anuthing else that I hated more. For classes at 530,I would wake up at 5 25,take my so called scooter and rush to the class. I would be so sleepy on the way…I even remember losing my shoe on the road and going back to get it. The classes were so packed which reminded me who was already a little bit claustrophobic of the wagon tragedy. The sir used to speak through this mike which added to this theatre effect. Since I believe in this ‘matha pitha gurur daivam’ policy, I am not going into the details of this sir. The school was the funny part..used to visit that institution once or twice in a week(and I know that’s not a credit). But the classes there were even funnier..we had teachers telling us that there are 2 kinds of planets ,artificial planets and natural planets. But there were very few of them,who were sincere in their profession and who gained our respect,like my maths and English teachers. I had friends who had to give more than 5 medical certificates(due to the lack of attendance) to write the public exam.
I remember not staying at home any of those weekends and how I had to beg for a leave at the tuition classes even for my grandfathers death. I used to get home at around 8 30,my poor dad used to wait infront of the classes from the evening itself. Getting home at 8 30,leaving at 5 next morning, u cant blame me for not studying a thing. I don’t remember being home that whole year. All I did at home was..sleep,sleep and sleep. That is one year I dint touch the books ,my worst year in my whole academic life. And I was hopeless in the exams too. But the thing is that I never felt repentance. Even now after each sems exam I always think..’i wish I had studied better during the study leave’. But I never ever felt that way about my +2. if I felt sorry for someone that was for my parents. I am sorry that I dint raise upto their expectations. Even now when I hear someone is in 12th,I suddenly feel sympathetic towards them. I am just happy that those days are outta mu life and that they wont come back everrrrr… and hats off to those people who survived these situations and gained great results!!!
P.S: Nothing is that bad. Even then I had things that I liked about my life. I think this post got too lengthy ,so ill write about them some other time.

Once upon a time...

there lived a poor mute jester in siberia.one day while he was sleeping ,his pet mouse bit him..and he died of plague..and he took this reincarnation to kill the mouse.guess who is that!!!.dont wrry pal..i havent gone crazy yet.I was just reading my friends blog and decided to try what she tried . And lol...look what it turned out to be.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Mute Jester. Where You Lived: Siberia. How You Died: The Plague.

Who Were You In a Past Life?